She was gone.
He rang in the morning, he had waited as long as he could, not wanting to wake me. But still it was early. A lonely phone ringing in the blue of the early morning light. I knew what it must be. His voice sounded thin and windy - alone in the gloomy early dawn light.
"She died this morning."
"I'll come and see you."
"Thanks."
I put the phone back in its cradle and stared at it. The shrill whistle of a morning bird pierced the air, sneaking in with the thin streak of sunlight that came in through the tiny slit between the drawn curtains.
Now he was alone. No parents, no brothers, no sisters. Cousins who would cluck sympathetically but then continue on to the take their kids to school and themselves into city office blocks.
I felt such a fool. How could he respect me? Me with my petty little stupid concerns about what the others will think of me if I let them know the truth. What would they care? Why should I care what they care? If they did care then that just shows how petty and stupid they are. What I want to do when I'm in a bedroom with another person has nothing to do with anyone else but me, and he.
I walked over and spread the curtains wide. The golden morning sun flooded in to chase away the blue shadows. More birds joined the first one, giving me a symphony of adoration to the magic of the rising sun.
I grabbed my wallet and coat and left the house. He needed me.
Alex Hogan - 18.9.2007
He rang in the morning, he had waited as long as he could, not wanting to wake me. But still it was early. A lonely phone ringing in the blue of the early morning light. I knew what it must be. His voice sounded thin and windy - alone in the gloomy early dawn light.
"She died this morning."
"I'll come and see you."
"Thanks."
I put the phone back in its cradle and stared at it. The shrill whistle of a morning bird pierced the air, sneaking in with the thin streak of sunlight that came in through the tiny slit between the drawn curtains.
Now he was alone. No parents, no brothers, no sisters. Cousins who would cluck sympathetically but then continue on to the take their kids to school and themselves into city office blocks.
I felt such a fool. How could he respect me? Me with my petty little stupid concerns about what the others will think of me if I let them know the truth. What would they care? Why should I care what they care? If they did care then that just shows how petty and stupid they are. What I want to do when I'm in a bedroom with another person has nothing to do with anyone else but me, and he.
I walked over and spread the curtains wide. The golden morning sun flooded in to chase away the blue shadows. More birds joined the first one, giving me a symphony of adoration to the magic of the rising sun.
I grabbed my wallet and coat and left the house. He needed me.
Alex Hogan - 18.9.2007
3 comments | Leave a comment